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Kirsten Remembers

The things only she would know

Rob lying with Rumpskins, his beloved large red stuffed dinosaur, at home Rob & Rumpskins
What's something about Rob that only people who lived with him would know?
0:49

One thing that only people who are very close to Rob knew was that he had a pet hippo, a red hippo called Rumpskins that lived on a rumping platform next to Rob's bed and is an evil mastermind.

I don't know if you remember in 2021 the Suez Canal obstruction. Apparently that was one of Rumpskins' evil schemes, his greatest triumph possibly.

And there were other things that he did — so he scammed Rob with a hippo laundry scheme and all sorts of other things. So yeah, that was Rumpskins. He played hippo mind tricks on Rob and all sorts. He was one to watch out for.

A habit, a ritual, something about his daily life that visitors never saw.
0:34

Obviously, Rob loved people and was pretty sociable.

But all those blinky lights and contraptions and humidifiers and all those kind of things don't get made by themselves. They take a lot of pipe smoking in solitude in the evening to get done.

And any evening that Rob wasn't with somebody else — that's what he'd be doing in his maker space.

Rob's home workshop packed wall-to-wall with 3D printer, sewing supplies, soldering equipment The maker space
Close-up selfie of Rob with pink-magenta mohawk, neon yellow-green sunglasses, black sleeveless top, and visible ear gauge An ever-changing work of art
Rob's hair was constantly changing — spirals, polka dots, hearts, every color imaginable. Was that something he did himself, or did you help?
0:44

Rob's hair was an ever-changing work of art.

It started with a hairdresser actually in San Luis Obispo who was very artistic and Rob got him to do all sorts of crazy things that he was scared but also excited to do.

But that was quite expensive so then Rob started getting his girlfriends, successive girlfriends to do his hair and I think probably all his girlfriends have done his hair at some time or another.

But recently he got more self-sufficient with it all and most of his recent haircuts he's done himself.

I remember your plans to retire someday to a house by the sea north of Barcelona. Can you tell me more about that dream?
0:54

Rob and I wanted to retire to Calella, a little seaside town 50 kilometres north of Barcelona.

We love it there, we've spent so many great times there. It's where we fell in love because I used to have a little shack up in the mountains up there where we used to go.

And since then, since I sold that place, we'd been having weekends downtown in Calella as well.

We wanted to maybe share a flat but definitely have our own separate spaces within that flat or possibly two flats close to each other and Rob wanted a flat with a big terrace and a sea view and a spare room so people could come to visit as usual.

He wanted to continue working but at a reduced timetable in his retired life in Calella.

Selfie of Rob and Kirsten on a sunlit forest trail, a long dirt path stretching behind them through gnarled moss-covered trees forming a natural tunnel Their Catalonia
Orange graphic with the word RUMP in large purple block letters, framed by a purple border — Kirsten's design for a garden plaque celebrating Rob's vocabulary Rump!
Did you and Rob have any rituals or traditions — something you did regularly together that was just yours?

Whenever Rob was feeling happy and everything was going well, he would say “Rump!”

Conversely, if annoying things were happening he would say “Fuss!”

He also had a hand movement for “fuss” and if I was being cheeky to him he would move his hand from side to side at me and say “Fuss on you!”

We agreed that life is generally made of a blend of Rump and Fuss, with some days — like hiking days in the sun with beers and tasty food at the end — being particularly rumptastic!

Rump!

Kirsten recalls a story Rob told her about being a small child on holiday.
0:24

I remember Rob telling me about his earliest memory. He was maybe three years old and he was on holiday with his family in Alicante and he saw these amazing coloured tiles and got really, really excited about the colours and patterns in the tiles. So he hadn’t changed much.

Kirsten describes Rob’s carefully guarded chocolate collection in the bottom of his fridge.
0:47

Rob had a chocolate library in the bottom of his fridge. He would collect all sorts of really good chocolate from over Europe and sometimes even other places and keep them there, bring them out for special occasions. He also had more normal chocolate there.

But he would stock up on chocolate when he went to Germany and get loads of really good ones, lots of Ritter Sport as well. And then people would always bring him chocolate from Belgium and Switzerland and the UK, so he had special chocolate there.

But nobody was allowed to just go along and pick a bar of chocolate out of that drawer. He would be very, very, very sniffy about that.

A night out at a beach party on the coast north of Barcelona, full of new relationship energy and old partnership.
1:00

I remember one evening when Rob and I went to a birthday party up the coast in El Maresme, on a beach, in a chiringuito, and we had both recently embarked on new relationships which were pretty intense. We were full of NRE for other people but this was our date night, so we went to this party together.

And we had a great time. We were talking to all sorts of other people and at one moment we saw each other across the room and just really connected and had huge smiles for each other and just came rushing towards each other full of gladness to be together and have fun as we always did.

That night I also hurt my ankle on the dance floor. I may not have been entirely sober and Rob helped me sort out getting a ride to where we were staying. So yeah, he advocated for me in my hour of need as well.

After Rob’s death, a dream on the hills behind Barcelona.
1:08

On the evening that Erika and John, the mother and brother, arrived here in Barcelona to start the process of closing everything down in Rob’s life, I had a dream and I saw Rob on the hills behind Can Masdeu in Collserola, just outside Barcelona, and he was on the path.

And he was so upset that he couldn’t speak. He was so angry with how things were and how things weren’t how they should be.

He and I had discussed writing wills late summer 25, early autumn, but he’d never been quite well enough to actually get round to it.

So knowing how incredibly organised he was and such a master of the material plane, I think he was really upset to leave everything in such a mess and have his mother and brother have to come out to Barcelona to sort things out, begin to sort things out.

More Photos from Kirsten

Scenes from the life they shared

Maker Space

Close-up overhead shot of a hand-blown glass pipe with intricate orange and black swirl patterns, purple and blue accent dots, resting on a dark surface. The bowl is blackened from use.

The pipe that accompanied Rob's creativity — companion for quiet maker space evenings alone.

Top-down view into a cardboard box containing a custom-built juggling device with multiple orange speaker-like elements, a green circuit board with wiring, and orange 3D-printed parts.

The Diablo's Bouquet. Custom electronics meets juggling — a maker space creation for Calella performances.

Delhi Adventures

Five adults and one child posed on and around a black vintage steam locomotive in an outdoor park. Rob stands center on the steps with pink hair, black sleeveless top, and a black skirt, arms spread. A small boy in a red Mickey Mouse shirt gives a peace sign.

The MetaBrainz team at a Delhi rail museum. Rob in the center, in a skirt, arms spread wide. The kid in the red shirt is giving a peace sign.

Crowded scene at a Delhi street food stall with approximately nine people packed around a table, Hindi signage visible. Rob partially visible by his pink hair and rust-patterned kurta, turned away from the camera.

Delhi street food with the team. Rob's the one in the patterned kurta, turned away from the camera, lost in the moment.

Overhead flat-lay of four clay plates of Indian street food including grilled sandwiches, tikka with sliced onion and lemon, stuffed peppers, and a cup of green chutney on a wooden table.

Delhi street food — grilled sandwiches, tikka, green chutney, and stuffed peppers on clay plates.

Ornate painted ceiling with a central blue-and-gold sunburst radiating pattern, surrounded by colorful narrative murals depicting Indian cultural scenes of agriculture, nature, and daily life.

A ceiling in Delhi that demanded to be photographed. Blue and gold sunburst, murals of daily life.

Istanbul

Long colonnade of repeating stone columns stretching into the distance inside the Basilica Cistern, reflected in still green-lit water below, with warm orange uplights on the columns and a dark vaulted brick ceiling above.

Istanbul's Basilica Cistern. Columns reflected in still green water, 1,500 years underground.

Dense overhead shot of dozens of traditional Turkish mosaic glass lamps hanging in rows, every color represented — reds, blues, greens, golds, purples — with intricate metal filigree frames.

Grand Bazaar. Dozens of mosaic lamps in every color. Rob's kind of visual overload.

Jaipur Wedding

Hindu wedding ceremony under a mandap canopy framed by pillars of red, pink, and white roses. The bride in traditional red and gold and the groom in cream are seated at center with a priest, warm night lighting creating a golden glow.

The ceremony. Rose garlands on every pillar, golden light, and somewhere in the crowd, Rob already planning the shoe heist.

Group portrait framed by an ornately carved wooden swing draped in marigolds and roses. The bride sits center on the swing while four men stand behind her, including Rob in a teal kurta. Two women attend to the bride in the foreground.

The bride on a flower-draped swing. Rob in a teal kurta, second from the left, already part of the family.

Rob and Kirsten standing by a hotel swimming pool in India. Rob has pink hair and wears a teal kurta with a gold-and-teal floral skirt; Kirsten has pink hair and wears a light blue embroidered salwar kameez. Both look relaxed and happy.

Poolside at the wedding hotel. Rob in a teal kurta and gold-and-teal floral skirt. Kirsten in chikankari embroidery. Dressed for India, dressed like themselves.

Five people standing on a manicured palace lawn with palm trees, all wearing traditional Indian wedding attire in coordinated yellow-orange-gold colors. Rob on the far left with pink hair, Kirsten beside him, three friends completing the group.

Five friends in coordinated yellow and orange on a palace lawn. Rob's pink hair the only thing breaking the dress code.

Nighttime selfie of Rob in a pink patterned turban and jasmine garland making a duck face, and Kirsten in an elaborate green-and-orange turban and jasmine garland making a matching expression, both laughing.

Matching turbans, matching jasmine garlands, matching duck faces. Partners in crime at the baraat.

Hamburg

Selfie of Kirsten with pink hair in a burgundy sweater and Rob with pinkish-orange hair in a red cartoon t-shirt, seated in the Elbphilharmonie concert hall with its distinctive white acoustic wall panels behind them. Rob is making a duck-face expression.

December 2022, Elbphilharmonie. Kirsten calm and composed. Rob in a cartoon t-shirt, making a kissy face. Hamburg's finest concert hall didn't stand a chance.

Kirsten and Rob in a close selfie on a walkway over the Alster in Hamburg, winter. Kirsten in a purple knit hat and fur-trimmed coat, pink hair peeking out. Rob in a red-orange beanie and yellow rain jacket, smiling gently. The Rathaus spire and decorative winter lights on bare branches behind them.

Same trip, same city. Rob back in the town he was born in, bundled up and unusually serene. No kissy face this time — just a quiet smile by the Alster.

Their Catalonia

Selfie of Rob and Kirsten on a rocky hilltop trail, the Mediterranean Sea and a coastal town stretching behind them in warm golden hour light. Both grinning, Rob in a dark t-shirt with an orange backpack strap, Kirsten with bright magenta hair.

Golden hour on the Montmeló–Montgat Nord trail. The Mediterranean behind them, the whole coast spread out. A walk they kept coming back to.

Selfie of Rob in an orange bandana and Kirsten with vivid red-magenta hair at a high viewpoint over a deep limestone canyon with layered mountain ridges receding into haze and a turquoise river visible far below.

Hiking near Camarassa. Layered mountain ridges and a turquoise thread of river far below.

Franconian Switzerland

Rob and Kirsten in FFP2 masks taking a selfie from inside a heritage steam train carriage, crinkled smiling eyes visible above the masks, green forested hills of Franconian Switzerland through the window behind them.

Steam train ride in Franconian Switzerland. COVID masks on, eyes still smiling. They rocked up by public transport — much to the shock of their Airbnb host, who barked “Kein Auto?!”

Overhead flat-lay of Rob's holiday provisions: German beer, Haribo gummy bears, Wine Gums, piri-piri hot sauce, pickles, dried sausage, Swiss dark chocolate truffles, and bananas on a white cloth.

Typical Rob accoutrements on a German holiday. German beer, Haribo, Wine Gums, hot sauce, pickles, dried sausage, and Swiss chocolate truffles. Essential provisions.

Black Forest 2020

Rob with platinum hair and blue reflective sunglasses and Kirsten in a lime-green windbreaker, leaning together for a selfie on a Black Forest hilltop with dense conifer forest stretching to the horizon.

Black Forest 2020. Rob was too nervous to travel anywhere other than Germany during the pandemic. They made the most of it.

Wide landscape of a Black Forest farmstead: a wooden trough structure (the 'beer manger') in the foreground, rolling green hills, farm buildings, and dramatic cumulus clouds backlit by the sun.

Rob was delighted by these “beer mangers” — farmers in the Black Forest stocked wooden troughs with beer and ice, with an honesty box for payment.

Mexico — San Miguel de Allende

Rob with multicolored yellow-green and pink hair, proudly displaying a red Day of the Dead Catrina skull t-shirt in a mirror selfie, turquoise beaded jewelry visible.

Rob loved buying cool clothes. He got this Day of the Dead shirt in San Miguel de Allende. The proud display pose says it all.

Rob's face peeking through gaps in an intricate red laser-cut metal sculpture with Aztec-inspired figures and headdresses, in a gallery.

Peeking through a red metal sculpture with pre-Columbian motifs. Other people stand beside art. Rob hid inside it.

Poland 2018

A blonde woman seen from behind, wearing a blue-and-white leaf-pattern skirt and yellow backpack, standing before an ornate gilded Renaissance doorway of a Gdansk merchant house.

Gdańsk, in front of a gilded merchant house. The blue-and-white wraparound skirt may be the famous one — “the nun-rattling skirt” that Rob sewed himself.

Rob with pink-purple hair, tongue sticking out and hand making a rock-on gesture, posing next to a carved wooden folk figure of a bearded man in a hat, with a wooden bell tower behind them in the Tatra Mountains.

Zakopane, Tatra Mountains. Tongue out, horns up, matching the energy of a Polish highland folk carving.

Taipei 2019

Rob with purple-tinted hair taking a selfie at the Taipei 101 observation deck, his face visible alongside his reflection in the glass, the vast aerial panorama of Taipei and green mountains stretching behind.

Solo trip to Taipei, 2019. Alone at 400 metres, quietly absorbing the view from Taipei 101. The doubled image — face and reflection — feels like a contemplative self-portrait.

Rob with purple hair and a bridge piercing taking a close selfie next to a weathered blue-grey stone guardian lion statue at a temple.

Treating a stone guardian lion as a selfie companion. Rob found friends everywhere, even carved from stone.

Rob with purple hair grinning broadly against a backdrop of large pink sculptural petals at a public art installation, his hair echoing the pink tones.

Pink petals at a Taipei metro station, and Rob matching them perfectly. One of his most infectious smiles.

Edinburgh & Scotland 2018

Rob with orange-red hair and Kirsten with blonde hair, cheek to cheek and grinning broadly, in front of large 3D metal letters spelling EDINBURGH.

Edinburgh, 2018. Cheek to cheek by the big letters. The classic “we are here” photo, warm and happy.

Rob with bright orange-red hair and Kirsten with blonde hair leaning their heads together in an art gallery, a pink floral painting behind them, intimate and content.

Edinburgh Festival, in a gallery. Heads together, matching smiles, a pink painting behind them. The quiet moments between shows.

Rob with orange hair in a red rain jacket and Kirsten in a green Quechua jacket, close selfie on a Scottish hillside, windblown hair, overcast sky.

Midway through a Scottish hike. Not always glamorous, always together. Windblown, weathered, contented.

Transylvania 2018

View from stone steps down into a sunlit cobblestoned Transylvanian town square, Saxon-style pastel buildings with steep terracotta roofs, outdoor cafe tables with white umbrellas.

Sibiu, looking down into the old Saxon square. Terracotta roofs, pastel walls, cobblestones. Transylvania was beautiful — even if Rob felt a little unconfident there.

Rob with pink hair sticking his tongue out and Kirsten with silver-grey hair laughing beside him, the Turda road sign partially visible behind them on a rural Romanian roadside.

Turda! Tongue out, Kirsten laughing. The couple version of the power pose — she delighted in his clowning, he clowned harder with an audience.

Barcelona Home

Two bicycles mounted vertically on an apartment wall painted in bold horizontal stripes of orange, yellow, red, and purple, a bicycle wheel hung separately as decoration above.

The hallway. Orange, yellow, red, purple — the walls were as loud as their owner.